What I used to know about going out.

A few weeks ago we won our netball grand final.  After losing four grand finals over the past five years I was ready to go out and celebrate with the girls.  But as I was getting ready I found myself lamenting "I used to know how to do this".  This, being getting dressed up, consuming a few too many drinks and having a good night out.  But in that moment it all just seemed way beyond me.  What to wear? What to drink? How to get home?  The list went on.  It got me thinking about some of the other things that I used to know about going out, that is before I got old and had kids!

I used to know how to pack all essential items for a night out on the town in a clutch purse no bigger than an envelope.  I was even known to be able to squeeze a pair of ballet flats in on the odd occasion when a walk home was required.  I now know I can fill an entire nappy bag with all manner of items and yet I'll still be missing the baby wipes when I need them most.

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I used to know how to dress for a night out.  I could carefully select an outfit perfect for the occasion, the venue, the season and even the crowd (to avoid repeat outfits of course!)  I used to know how to spend a leisurely Saturday afternoon shopping to get the perfect accessory for the aforementioned outfit.  I now know now that an all-black ensemble works for any and all occasions and it will cover suit all versions of my body (pregnant, breastfeeding, post-pregnancy).  It also makes it impossible to tell if I am wearing the same thing...again.  I also now know that Lovisa is situated between Woolworths and Aldi and if I time it right I can select and pay for a new necklace before the boys have had time to finish their snack and I can still finish the grocery run in time to get back for kinder drop-off.  And I now know I'm only buying something new if I have a wedding invite, anything less and I'll make do with what I've got!

I used to know how to prepare to get home from a night out on the town.  Cab numbers were stored in my phone, train timetables were memorised and the location of the night rider was known in case of extreme circumstances (read 'out too late for the last train and out of money for a cab'). I now know the key to preparing to get home from a night out is to pack a baby sleeping bag that has a hole for the seat belt so the baby can be transported straight from the car to the cot - gold!

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I used to know how to sufficiently flirt to neatly cut in front of a group of guys lining up for a club or to convince a bouncer to let us in to a venue that was supposedly a 'full house'.  I now know how to look sufficiently desperate with two kids and an overflowing trolley so people will offer to let me go in front of them at the check out.  I also know that nothing can sway the lady guarding the red rope at the holiday concert at the local shopping centre to let people cut her line!

I used to know that high heels were the invention of the devil.  I still know that high heels are the invention of the devil.

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I used to know that a hang over could be tolerated if I could just sleep in long enough, spend the day on the couch and consume copious amounts of fried food.   I now know that a hang over can only be tolerated if you can arrange to pick the kids up from the baby sitters some time after 5 pm the following day.  Anything less than that and those extra drinks ain't worth the pain of a 7 o'clock wake up and chubby fingers prying your eyelids open as you try to catch a sneaking nap on the couch.

I used to know that one day I'd prefer to spend my time at home with a partner and my kids. I now know that I was right.

What did you know before you got old?

P.S
I also used to know that there was never a bad time to eat chocolate. I now know that any time the kids are awake is a bad time to eat chocolate.  Mainly because I might have to share. Actually who am I kidding, I;m not sharing, instead I'm hiding in the pantry trying to silently peel the foil wrapper off without getting caught. I feel like a crack addict chasing a secret hit!  I now know the best time to eat chocolate is when the boys are tucked up in bed.

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Keep smiling
Dani :)